Gay single
How I Found My Vocation to the Single Life as a Gay Man
As a farm kid, I never appreciated the simple being. In fact, growing up in a rural Catholic house in Indiana, I resented my upbringing through most of my young adulthood. Life consisted of church, farm, college, sports, rinse, restate. In middle academy, I began to realize I was different. By freshman year, I had a very negative self-image because of my belief that I was gay.
Where I’m from, in the early 2000s, there was a widely accepted presupposition that to be gay meant extravagant, promiscuous behavior and a denial of traditional value systems, in other words, a lifestyle diametrically opposed to that of a rural Christian farm town. Due to my effeminate idiosyncrasies, I was bullied to the point of crippling anxiety. I internalized it all, learning to self-deprecate and bury my feelings at a young age. The thought of divulging this suffering to anyone was off the table.
Whatever people thought of me, I did not identify with their narrative of what it meant to be “gay,” but I did possess deep insecurities, social anxiety and drastic feelings of inadequacy. Everything I believed about myself was based on the terrible things
In September 2024Instagram pushed me a post by Travel Gay, a website listing “the best same-sex attracted bars, nightclubs, saunas, spas, beaches, shops and more, along with interesting travel ideas and fabulous offers”. There I saw the undated post (date your articles and posts, people) ‘LGBTQ+ Solo Travel: the Best Cities to Visit?‘ by Adam Reid. Creature a solo gay traveller, it caught my attention.
Now, while I’m still very much a lesbian, it has been a while since I last travelled solo. My last solo trip was Tel Aviv in 2018. Since then, I’ve travelled with Danny, Oriol, Steve, Philippe, Nicolas, Thanh, my sister Florence. In 2021 I wrote ‘SINGLES DAY | Why everyone should travel alone sometimes‘ and reading it help I feel the cringe but I stand by its content.
It’s 2024. I should undertake a proper solo trip again soon(ish). I feel ready.
“LGBTQ+ Solo Travel: the Best Cities to Visit?”
“Solo travel is an intimidating prospect to many of us but it’s one of the most rewarding experiences you can have. Solo travel is on the rise and it’s straightforward to understand why with the unmatched feel
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Let’s make a deal, you and me. Let’s produce promises to each other.
I promise to tell you my story. The whole story. I’ll tell you about a boy in love with Jesus who, at the fateful onset of puberty, realized his sexual attractions were persistently and exclusively for other guys. I’ll tell you how I lay on my bed in the middle of the darkness and whispered to myself the words I’ve whispered a thousand times since:
“I’m gay.”
Is it possible to be gay and still follow Jesus? And if so, what happens next? If you believe the Bible calls you to celibacy, is it doable to embrace that calling without feeling like a divine typo?
Single, Gay, Christian is the story of one person’s journey through these questions. It’s about acting like your possess alter ego, about getting epiphanies from mosquitoes, about singing happy birthday to yourself while literally hiding in a closet. It’s about being gay, loving Jesus, and choosing singleness in a world that fears all three.