How to get rid of gay thoughts

Overcoming Same Sex Sexual Desires

Scott Rae: Welcome to the podcast, Think Biblically, conversations on faith and customs. I'm your host, Scott Rae, Dean of faculty and professor of Christian ethics at Talbot academy of theology, Biola University.

Sean McDowell: I'm your cohost, Sean McDowell, professor of Christian apologetics at Talbot school of Theology, Biola University.

Scott Rae: We're here today with a fascinating guest for us. Her name is Kim Zember. She's the founder and head of, of a ministry called Overcome Ministries. She's got a fascinating story to tell about her own personal journey. So rather than put it up for you, I think I'll just let you kind of tell us a brief bit of your story and how you got to be where you are today, particularly with your Overcome Ministries.

Kim Zember: Awesome. Yeah, so I grew up Catholic, baptized as a baby and really grew up knowing the Lord. Knowing the Lord, I found out even still today, is much different than knowing him personally and in choosing to walk with him, but always knew about Jesus and that he's the savior and he's the only way. Raised, mom and dad, two older brothers, gorgeous family. I really ... Looking

Internalised homophobia and oppression happens to same-sex attracted, lesbian and multi-attracted people, and even heterosexuals, who hold learned and been taught that heterosexuality is the norm and “correct way to be”. Hearing and seeing negative depictions of LGB people can direction us to internalise, or take in, these negative messages. Some LGB people suffer from mental distress as a result.

A general instinct of personal worth and also a positive view of your sexual orientation are critical for your mental health. You, like many lesbian, gay and bisexual people, may have hidden your sexual orientation for a long second. Research carried out in Northern Ireland into the needs of young LGBT people in 2003 revealed that the average age for men to realise their sexual orientation was 12, yet the average age they actually confided in someone was 17. It is during these formative years when people are coming to understand and confess their sexual orientation that internalised homophobia can really impact a person.

Internalised homophobia manifests itself in varying ways that can be linked to mental health. Examples include:

01. Denial of your sexual orientation to yourself and others.

02. Shots to a

Mental health support if you're lesbian, gay, bisexual or transsexual (LGBTQ+)

Mental health problems such as depression or self-harm can affect any of us, but they're more common among people who are lesbian, gay, pansexual and trans (LGBTQ+).

This may be linked to LGBTQ+ people's life of discrimination, homophobia or transphobia, bullying, social isolation, or rejection because of their sexuality.

Other things, such as their age, religion, where they live, and their ethnicity can add extra complications to an already difficult situation.

How talking therapy can help

It might not be easy, but getting help with issues you're struggling to deal with on your own is one of the most essential things you can do.

Talking with a therapist who's trained to work with LGBTQ+ people may help with issues such as:

  • difficulty accepting your sexual orientation
  • coping with other people's reactions to your sexuality
  • feeling your body does not reflect your true gender (gender dysphoria)
  • transitioning
  • low self-esteem
  • self-harm
  • suicidal thoughts
  • depression
  • coping with bullying and discrimination
  • anger, isolation or rejection from family, friends or your co

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